MEN: If you’ve even had a woman break into your email, voicemail or had information that left you scratching your head. Let’s not even tap into other things that have left you wondering if she was a 10 on the Insanity Richter Scale….then here’s a question you might want to ponder: When will men figure out that women are WAY smarter and more cunning than a man can ever HOPE to be?
Why do you not understand that there are no secrets and there is something behind the old saying, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!” Well you’ve heard that before, but you continue to think you can get away with anything like a kid in a candy store. Fellas….here are some things you should keep in mind.
Women remember EVERYTHING! Especially the stuff that you don’t want them to. Now we might not be able to remember that we cussed your mama out at Thanksgiving Dinner last year (“Who me? I love yo mama! I would never do something like that!”), but we DO remember that you had a crush on Tonya Wainwright in the 5th grade….so when you tell us that an OLD friend of yours, TONYA WAINWRIGHT, just got hired at your job, do you not KNOW that our radar goes up? When you start having to “work late” after said innocent announcement on a project with work “friend” Tonya, do you NOT realize that our radar goes up?
All women are potential FBI agents, no I dare say, agents for Homeland Security. There is not a bit of information, security code, secret, habit, blemish on your body that we don’t know about or can’t get to. So do yourself a favor and keep wanna-be Lorena Bobbits out of your bedroom by not believing that there is anything you can get away with. If you are in a committed relationship, stay committed. If you DON’T want to be in a committed relationship, then say so….and THEN it’s her own fault for not hearing you. Like I always say, listen to what somebody tells you even if it’s contradictory to their actions. And if you are honest, then it’s not like you tried to trick her into being monogamous with you when you know you were not committed to being monogamous with her. Or try this on for size, if you come to the conclusion that she is no longer who you want to be with, then move on, she’ll get over it….really she will!
Now….I know, I know….there are gonna be gentleman who will say….well if you don’t go looking for stuff you won’t find it. To that I say, if there ain’t anything to find, then we won’t find it. Same situation, very different perspective. Do know that SANE women only go looking for confirmation of a gut feeling that is 99.9% of the time CORRECT. Nutso women drag extra baggage into the relationship and do go looking for things that aren’t there when you haven’t done ANYTHING but be ABOVE BOARD.
Sidebar to the ladies….as my grandma used to always say…WATCH YOUR ACCUSOR! The man who insists you are doing something when you KNOW you are not, is the one who is trying to throw you off the scent. This is the OLDEST trick in the book. Guys…this is older than women thinking that having a baby by you is gonna keep you. JEEZ….give it up! We know that trick already.
Then fellas also understand….once your woman asks you the questions that are hittin’ close to home, your best bet is to come clean, don’t insult her intelligence by telling her that she is crazy and imagining things. That’s when you start inviting “Lorena Bobbit” into your bedroom and then….it’s your own fault.
Excuses that don’t work:
“I told her I was married” [Who cares….women don’t mess with married or otherwise attached men???? Good lord, please bury this excuse for good]
“She’s just some crazy chick at my job, I don’t know why she’s actin’ like that”. [Unless she truly needs to be committed to a psych ward, you gave her SOME reason to believe that she had a shot. She didn’t come up with it on her own]
“That’s Bobby’s (your buddy) friend calling me. I just talk to her because she wants to talk about Bobby” [Please stop using your friends in this way…especially when you haven’t had enough sense to let them on the lie….something that gets men in trouble all the time]
I’ll come up with some others later in the sequel to this article (tentatively named….”Kick in the Door Wavin’ the FOUR-FOUR” or something like that. LOL
I’ve tried to help….
Here’s hoping that you keep all your body parts! You’d hate to have to explain to the next woman how come you can’t have anymore kids (and it won’t be because your vasectomy went bad!)