Lyrics from “Believe” by Raheem Devaughn
With affection like a dreamer
with patience and understanding
like a teacher with a student, vice versa
promise not to hurt you, not to leave
not to lie, not to cheat, not to fuss
not to stress, like the rest in your past
Believe me I ain’t like most men
I ain’t like them others
you then dealt with in the past
just have some faith
that is all I ask, believe in me
“Believe”, is one of those “throw ya panties on the stage” type of slow jams. I mean it makes you wanna believe. It makes you wanna hold on to the fairytale that this time it will be different. Who hasn’t heard that before? What makes us lack faith? To not believe? I am a strong believer in not asking other folx to carry our bags. Remember Erykah Badu told us that we were gonna “miss our bus” cuz we had too much stuff. I’m also a firm believer in trusting each person on his merits. What makes us judge someone on the actions (merits) of others? What makes us ask the new guy to carry the other guy(s) bags.
I listen to this song and I think of all the times somebody told me that he wasn’t THAT guy. This time, it would be different. Of all the times I believed it and was made a fool. I think of all the times I believed it and it was different, but maybe not my kind of different. A little too different. But if it wasn’t for different, I wouldn’t have been married. I had to ask for God’s help in BELIEVING that HIS way was better than MINE. I had to believe or else I would have NEVER married my husband.
This was my basic “marriage material” list (when I met my husband I was 29 years old):
A man with NO kids
No long distance relationships
A man with a good job (career)
A man that had his own home.
A sensual, open-minded lover, but one that would always love ME first.
If someone would have said to me. I got this good guy, and ran down my future husband’s story. I would have said NO in a heart beat. But when my husband and I re-connected (BTW, via the internet), I figured I was just linking up with an OLD friend. So when he told me he had TWIN girls that he had custody of, that didn’t strike a cord. I gave him credit for being a good father. When he told me that he was living with his mother as she was helping him raise his girls (that didn’t strike a cord). The fact that he lived in Baltimore (while I lived in North Carolina) didn’t matter, because I wasn’t about to date him. When he asked me if he could come visit me, I said I’d meet him ½ way. He told me that weekend that he would marry me. I sucked my teeth and said, “Yeah, right! You don’t think just because I’m about to turn 30 I’m getting desperate, do you?” 6 months later in May, we were engaged.
Previously, I had prayed to God to fix the men I was dating and make them right so that what I believed needed to happen would happen. Then one day, I changed my prayer and I prayed that God would work on ME to prepare me for the man who would be my husband. So when my job announced that there would be voluntary lay-offs in June, I volunteered (with no job and a house note, so that I could be where I BELIEVED I was meant to be). My family thought I was crazy. My friends thought I was drugged. My sister cried, real…..sad….tears. When my aunts told me not to get involved with a man with kids, I smiled. I believed…..and 5 years later, I still believe.
Maybe we’ll listen to some Raheem Devaughn tonight!
Maybe you should too———–>Track 10 – Believe